Three Steps Backward
When I was a kid I used to masturbate constantly, in movie theatres, bathrooms, closets, sleeping bags, beds I shared with my friends.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I just knew it felt good and I wanted to do it all the time.  So I did.  I calmed down as I got older, learned what I was doing, became a skilled master and no longer needed the large quantities since I had the quality.  Once I turned 18 I got a job working for a company I will keep nameless for the time being reviewing sex toys.  I made a lot of money skipping school, trying out the latest rabbit dildo or trying to figure out the infamous cone.  Again I was masturbating constantly, sure it was fun but it was a job, and by the end of the year I realized my addictive personality was getting addicted to masturbation.  Of course I would have much rather had sex all day, but I’m glad that opportunity never came my way.  Just thinking about it makes my vagina clench.  Two years out of high school and I can safely say my masturbation pattern is at a normal level and I’m not constantly thinking about sex.  Well the last part was a total lie but sex is safer to daydream about then blowing up the building I work in.

I’m not all about sex, although that’s mostly what I talk about, think about and am really interested in.  But there is a lot more to me then just that.  For example I spend a great deal of my time aimlessly wandering around this large city of San Antonio, I go to a lot of parks and cemeteries, I love to dance in my underwear and spend some time hanging out on friends couches.  Occasionally you will find me at a show, usually only when a friend is playing or a band from out of state comes around I like.  For the most part, I’m pretty quiet and spend most nights sitting in front of my laptop thinking about years gone by.

Anything pre-2005 I tend to keep to myself, especially when it comes to my family.  Well when it comes to my blood I tend to keep it mostly to myself, and if you think I talk about my family a lot…  well I think you can figure out where I’m going with that.  I’m not secretive, in fact I hold no secrets, I just have stories and facts I have yet to tell you.  Generally if you ask, I spill, unless I’m not ready to poor my milk out on the table, in that case just let me put my drink in the fridge until I’m thirsty.  I like to use stupid metaphors, I think saying shit like that is downright hilarious and laughter is most important.  I don’t care if you think it’s not funny and simply inane, I personally find it hysterical.

Enough rambling.  I’m going to finish this beer and get some sleep.