I am a figment of your imagination. A fantastic example of a xeroxed copy of a xeroxed copy of a copy of a xeroxed copy.

i forgot about this.


hello everyone, how are you?

i'm moving to austin a few months
until then i'm moving in with my dad to save up
i start work in austin on the 17th


im really in love with zach i just feel incredibly comfortable when im around him and its fucking great.


im sitting on travis' floor listening to hells kitchen and chatting it up.
his parents are buying pf.changs mmmmmmm yummmers
im going to miss him when i move even though we fight all the time
hes still cool in my book

things are kind of shitty at the moment.
relationship = great
but everything else sucks balls, and not tender and sensuous sucking either, hard vicious ball sucking.


i have a headache.

BUMMED.

This week has sucked.

boyfriend is probably gonna stay in Austin.
bestfriend is out camping for a week.
byrd only wants to be outlandish.
work has cut back my hours and our wages.
boyfriend is probably gonna stay in Austin.
did I say that already?
i feel like san antonio is holding me back.
i need money.
oh yah and my boyfriend is probably gonna stay in Austin.


FUUUUUUUUUCK. 

Ever woken up after a good 12 or so hours of sleep from a few days and nights of prolonged nothingness that involved you staying up all hours of the day and night in which you have accomplished nothing to very little, and you reach for the now luke warm can of soda to quench your ludicrous thirst only to find all the carbonation gone and all the syrup seems to do is coat your mouth with a permanent sickly sweet flavor that you know has just ruined your day.  That’s how this past month has been.

I'm not dead.
I've just been comfortably bored.
No real urge to do anything, or go anywhere.
I've gone bowling, made it out to a few shows, but mainly I sit in my room or someone else's room and do a lot of nothing.
It actually feels kind of great.
A little depressing.
but mainly good.
I'm either home or waiting to be home.
I'm preparing myself for a social life again, I figure when Zach goes to school in Austin I'll spread out my socialite wings again.
Just to remember why I turned that in for quiet nights laying anxiously in my bed silently connecting dots on my wall listening to the cars drive passed my house on the busy street outside.
I often close my eyes and imagine that I'm on the beach turning the cars zooming by into waves splashing against the sand. 
Usually my fantasy is disturbed by a particularly loud car.
I kind of miss this world though.

Hello livejournal how are you?

I'm feeling pretty groovy.
how about you?

Name: Megan
Date: 2/19/2009
Colorgenics Number: 14625037

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are finding the present situation extremely demanding and you're having difficulty coping with it. A great deal of strain is involved and you would really like everyone and everything to leave you alone for a while, just so that you can put everything into perspective.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offence, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

waaaaaaaay to close to home. try it out. www.goldinuniverse.com/

found through acicular 

The more I go, the more I do, the more I see you, the more I don’t see you, the more I eat, the more I exercise, I never reap any benefit, its all backwards, the more I go backwards.  I’m so tired and I’m so bored, yet I can’t control my anxiety and I can’t stop my mind from racing.  I’ll be doing great at work and yet the sink is full of dishes at home.  I will pay my rent on time and yet my car payment is two weeks late.  Will I ever catch up?

Chris gave me an Opana last night and all I could think about was how badly I wanted someone to tell me how much they loved me.  I wanted someone to tell me how important I am to them and all though I was sad, I felt so happy and confident with myself.  I can see how easily someone could get addicted to it.  I am becoming increasingly worried about my darling roommate.  I can’t recall the last time I saw him completely sober.

I’m stuck at work until 8 today.  Which kind of works out, Zach and I are going to go see Coraline at 10 and I was worried I was going to have to drive home, drive to go pick him up and then drive back to my house, then drive to the movies.  I’m hoping he will just stay the night so I don’t have to drive him home then drive back home again.

Whatever.  I’m pretty melodramatic.

so i bought a domain so i could host my portfolio, i put up a blog too, because well i'm a blogwhore I guess.  I'm still keeping my lj around so i can post those private entries but a lot of what I have to say is gonna be over there.  you should check it out and give me love.


<3

www.acid-sundays.com

aaaaaaaah!   eeeeeeeee!!



aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!


I feel like jumping up and down uncontrollably.


it wasn't SAID but it was implied.  I'm going to die of happiness.

When I was a kid I used to masturbate constantly, in movie theatres, bathrooms, closets, sleeping bags, beds I shared with my friends.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I just knew it felt good and I wanted to do it all the time.  So I did.  I calmed down as I got older, learned what I was doing, became a skilled master and no longer needed the large quantities since I had the quality.  Once I turned 18 I got a job working for a company I will keep nameless for the time being reviewing sex toys.  I made a lot of money skipping school, trying out the latest rabbit dildo or trying to figure out the infamous cone.  Again I was masturbating constantly, sure it was fun but it was a job, and by the end of the year I realized my addictive personality was getting addicted to masturbation.  Of course I would have much rather had sex all day, but I’m glad that opportunity never came my way.  Just thinking about it makes my vagina clench.  Two years out of high school and I can safely say my masturbation pattern is at a normal level and I’m not constantly thinking about sex.  Well the last part was a total lie but sex is safer to daydream about then blowing up the building I work in.

I’m not all about sex, although that’s mostly what I talk about, think about and am really interested in.  But there is a lot more to me then just that.  For example I spend a great deal of my time aimlessly wandering around this large city of San Antonio, I go to a lot of parks and cemeteries, I love to dance in my underwear and spend some time hanging out on friends couches.  Occasionally you will find me at a show, usually only when a friend is playing or a band from out of state comes around I like.  For the most part, I’m pretty quiet and spend most nights sitting in front of my laptop thinking about years gone by.

Anything pre-2005 I tend to keep to myself, especially when it comes to my family.  Well when it comes to my blood I tend to keep it mostly to myself, and if you think I talk about my family a lot…  well I think you can figure out where I’m going with that.  I’m not secretive, in fact I hold no secrets, I just have stories and facts I have yet to tell you.  Generally if you ask, I spill, unless I’m not ready to poor my milk out on the table, in that case just let me put my drink in the fridge until I’m thirsty.  I like to use stupid metaphors, I think saying shit like that is downright hilarious and laughter is most important.  I don’t care if you think it’s not funny and simply inane, I personally find it hysterical.

Enough rambling.  I’m going to finish this beer and get some sleep.

John,
PLEASE I BEG OF YOU FUCK ME, FUCK ME HARD JOHN STEWART.





oh god he turns me on.

this wonderful feeling is going to lead to bad things.

what am i getting myself into?

• you always smell like baked goods
  

thats because i roll around in cookie dough

• you smell more like lemon meringue pie today

is that a good, bad or is it indifferent

• its fucking delicious
  

wait, are you saying that I'm fat

• yes. ha no I'm just saying you always smell like baked goods, yesterday you were totally rockin' yellow cake with chocolate frosting
  

how specific

• It's weird, its like when I get around you and I smell your deliciousness I get vivid images of various baked goods
  

its a mind control thing, I'm really a cyborg sent from the future, I use the humans senses to lure them into my trap, i brought you to me with the scent of a gram cracker pie with chocolate mousse filling.  Ever since then I have used baked goods to keep you around, you play a very important role in the future and you get killed, I'm here to save you.

• Your hair smells like a cinnamon roll

I totally smell like a chocolate chip cookie right now.

Everyone has things they blog about regularly. Everyone has things they don't blog about. Challenge me out of my comfort zone by telling me something I don't blog about, but you'd like to hear about, and I'll write a post about it. Ask for anything: latest movie watched, last book read, political leanings, favorite type of underwear, first crushes, pet peeves, favorite songs to dance around to, irrational dislikes, etc.

Repost in your own journal so that we can all learn more about each other.

My new years was pretty dope.  This is the first time in well 6 years I feel like this new year is really a new year.  New boyfriend, new job, new life.  I’m really living on my own, I’m paying all my own bills, I’m really planning my business.  I think 2009 is going to bring a lot of good for me.  It hurts a little leaving all the comforts of years passed and well breaking Travis’ heart is downright crushing.  But I can’t lie, I’ve never felt as happy and good as I did last night when Zach and I were laying in bed and he was just holding me, showering me with kisses.  It was a good way to bring in the new year.  Ricks party was a lot more lax than I expected, but I liked it better that way.  I enjoyed myself very much.  This morning after Zach and I had a cup of coffee I went to Danielle’s house and made her and the very lovely Carla some hello kitty waffles.  After some girl talk and a briefing on 2008 I made my way to Travis’.  Our visit was short lived as I was tired and grouchy, made an ass out of myself we fought and I stormed out.  After a nap and some small talk between Chris and I, Travis and I came to some agreeable terms and now I find myself procrastinating work and slowly falling asleep.

I have never been so happy to bleed in panties.